They've been having some fun over at the Science Careers Forum as forum host and moderator Dave Jensen hosted a "cowboy wisdom" contest. He posted a list of aphorisms and asked posters to choose one (or more) and apply it to careers. Several of the entries were pretty good, but this one (by poster "Ken") stole the show and carried away the prizes (a bunch of career-related books):
"Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut."
Well, lemme tell y'all about a low point in my life as young gene
wrangler. I mean, it was lower than a caterpillar's belly. I took to
feelin’ like I been rode hard and hung up wet. I looked around my
little old laboratory and I begin to wonderin’ if there ain’t somethin’
else out there. My wonderin’ turn to thinkin’ and my thinkin’ got me
talkin’ about looking outside of this here little fenced in patch of
dirt.
The head of the laboratory, a lifelong cowpoke, gets to hearin’ me
and he pulls me aside one day, and he says, “Why don’t you saddle up
beside me, hoss. We’re gonna have ourselves a little talk.”
Well, he ain’t never taken much interest in my wonderin’s before, so I say, “Well, that would be mighty fine!”
He sits me down and he points his finger far outside the fences of
our little laboratory to a spot out there on the horizon and he says,
“Beautiful, ain’t she?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I been wonderin’ what’s out there. You reckon
there ain’t other jobs out there for a guy what been wranglin’ up genes
for near ten turns of the seasons? I mean, there ain’t been no job
openin’ up to run my own herd ‘round these parts. A man gets to
thinkin’ if maybe there ain’t somethin’ else he’s suited to.”
Well, his face got more serious than a junebug in a glass of
sasparilla, and he says to me, “Hoss, there ain’t nothin’ out there for
you. Them other ranches are institutionalized. Alls they care about is
profits and losses. Young ranch hand like you would be eaten up and
used. I reckon you should get back to your bench now. You sit tight and
keep on wranglin’. Somethin’ll come along very soon for you. Ain’t
nothin’ outside these here fences.”
Well, I got back to my bench, but that there sunset, well, she kept
callin’ to me. She was so bright from here. Seemed to me that the only
one gettin’ anything out of all my wranglin’ at the bench was the old
cowpoke who ran this outfit. Seemed impossible that there weren’t
nothin’ out there. Maybe that old cowpoke don’t know what he’s talkin’
about. Maybe he does know what he’s talkin’ about, and he just want to
make sure that this ranch hand keeps this outfit wranglin’.
So, one day, I waited till the boss' back was turned, and I headed
out to that horizon. I swear she never got no closer nomatter how far I
went and there's stories to be told about that journey and the
mountains what had to be climbed, but damn if one day I didn’t happen
to find myself in a new ranch.
Life in this ranch was much different. Yeah, this ranch had her
eyes set on turnin’ a profit, but I declare that this weren’t a bad
thing! Seemed to me, the wranglin' was much the same as I had known
before. But, I swear I saw equipment I ain’t never seen before. Sure
made my gene wranglin’ much faster. Damn if I couldn’t wrangle up some
things that I never thought could be done before. I also got myself an
outfit of ranch hands who all pitch in to get the wranglin’ done faster
than a long tailed cat in room full of rockin’ chairs. And, I can’t be
for sure, but it do seem that the bosses of this here ranch want to
make sure that when I bunk down for the night, that my head is a’layin’
a bit more comfortable so’s I’m rested up for the next day’s gene
wranglin’.
I guess what I’m a’tryin’ to say is, askin’ a cowpoke who ain’t
never been off the ranch if you should look at other opportunities
outside them fences is like askin’ a barber if you need a haircut.