Here’s one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen in the scientific literature. A new journal, Life, apparently solicited papers for their inaugural issues, and one of them was from Erik Andrulis at Cast Western’s School of Medicine. The manuscript came in at 105 printed pages, which should have rung at least a tiny alarm bell, you’d think. And if that wasn’t a bit concerning, perhaps the title (“Theory of the Origin, Evolution, and Nature of Life”) might have seemed a bit sweeping? Or the abstract, which promises that “The theoretical framework unifies the macrocosmic and microcosmic realms, validates predicted laws of nature, and solves the puzzle of the origin and evolution of cellular life in the universe.” No? Nothing to worry about yet?
But editors aren’t supposed to just look at page counts, titles, and abstracts. Just a riffle through the actual manuscript should have been enough to convince anyone that, rather than a Theory of Everything, that this work is, most unfortunately, the product of a disordered mind. P. Z. Myers has excerpts from the paper on his blog – take a look and see what you think. Here’s a sample, and it should really be sufficient:
The ultimate state of gyromnemesis is the stably adapted particle or gyronexus in the gyrobase. . .Finally, although a diquantal IEM (X”) undergoes gyrognosis as the gyrobase of a primary majorgyre, it undergoes gyromnemesis as the gyrapex of an alternagyre.
Right. The paper ranges through the origins of life, organic chemistry, cosmology, geology, astronomy, and who knows what else, all of it explained in language exactly like the above. And yes, there is a multi-page glossary of all those gyro-terms, and no, it does not help. As Myers points out, the spectacularly weird thing is that not only did this paper get published, it got press-released by Case Western. Here, check it out. Whoever put this thing together has gamely attempted to summarize the paper, and not only that, to highlight its importance for the greater glory of Case Western:
To test his paradigm, Dr. Andrulis designed bidirectional flow diagrams that both depict and predict the dynamics of energy and matter. While such diagrams may be foreign to some scientists, they are standard reaction notation to chemists, biochemists, and biologists.
Dr. Andrulis has used his theory to successfully predict and identify a hidden signature of RNA biogenesis in his laboratory at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine. He is now applying the gyromodel to unify and explain the evolution and development of human beings.
Oh, go take a look and tell me if you see any standard notation. (Update: I see from RetractionWatch that the university has pulled the release from their own sites, saying that they’re “evaluating our processes regarding media outreach”. I’ll bet they are(. Now, I realize that picking up a text on, say, quantum electrodynamics could lead to the same what-is-this-stuff feeling. But any text on QED starts with a grounding in the physical world and the connections of the theory to known physics. And this sort of thing is different in both degree and kind (for one thing, QED has nothing to say about lunar craters). There’s a difference between a work that makes you think “Boy, I don’t understand this” and one that makes you think “Boy, this person has lost it”. The near-infallible signs of scientific derangement include the “Why, this explains everything” aspect, the “Everything you thought you knew is wrong” one, and the intricate details-within-details style, almost always taken to unbearable lengths.
What the Andrulis paper reminds me of, actually, is Alfred Lawson and his Lawsonomy. That one also explains everything from bacteria to the composition of the moon, and brings in “zig-zag and swirl” motions to do so, at excruciating length. No, if you’ve had any exposure to the fill-the-margins-with-green-ink thinkers, you’ll recognize Andrulis’ problem, and hope that he can get some sort of help for it. Here’s a book-length collection of such, very interesting for what it shows you about the ways that human reason can go off the rails.
That’s something I’ve thought about for a long time – in fact, here’s an entry on this blog from ten years ago on that very subject. It’s interesting to me that there are a limited number of relatively defined mental illnesses; I think that says something about the deeper structures of human consciousness. The Andrulis paper is a flawless example of one of those categories – the wildly intricate, over-systematized Key to the Universe. I’ve just never seen one in a scientific journal.